Why do I do this to myself?

I can't stop thinking about Julia now.  Why do I keep doing this to myself?  When a woman falls for me, I dismiss it as though it is nothing, but when they start falling out of it, I try my best to regain their attention.  It always end up blowing up in my face.  Why do I keep doing this to myself?  Am I some kind of subconscious sadist hell bent on torturing myself and the women who care about me?  I do care about them, I am attracted to them, but why can't and why won't I express it?  I keep telling myself to change, but I never do.  I keep trying to fix myself, but it's like telling a blind man to fix a car he can't touch.  First Katherine, now possibly Julia...

Note to self:  End this.  Stop dismissing women who are attracted to you.  Show affection, show that you care, show that you reciprocate...