Remembrance

Going back over this little blog which I started about five months ago made me start thinking about the people who lost their chance.  I'm here, now, trying to change myself so that I may have a future, so that I may start a family of my own someday.  But trying to accomplish this task has reminded me of the people who were once young and lost their chance at a good life.  During my time at City College of San Francisco, I met a number of teachers who lament their lost youth and the opportunities that went with it.  One of my former teachers come to mind, Dr. Karin Hu, my former psychology teacher.

Dr. Karin Hu was my psychology teacher for the summer semester of 2008.  Through her, I learned more about psychology in that one semester than I could hope to anywhere else.  She is a fantastic teacher, an amazing lecturer, and an amazing person.  Unfortunately, underneath such a great personality lies a story of sadness and loneliness.  

All of the information I have on her is from memory, information that she told the class throughout the quarter.  She's currently in her late 50s, and her family and her arrived in the United States from China before the 1950s.  Not exactly the best time for a minority, especially an Asian one.  Her father was one of the first Chinese to settle and do business outside of Chinatown.  She used to talk about how her dad's store was spat upon by passing people.  I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and loneliness that she felt, being the only one of her kind in school, work etc.  I guess her past haunted her throughout her life because she once talked about how she only lost her virginity when she was 30 years old.  When she mentioned that, I could see the sadness and pain on her face.  She knew that she was not wanted, not chased after by men, and was alone.  Still alone.  She never married.  She has friends and a small dog named Doni, that she would bring to class everyday.  That's all she has now.  She went to UC Berkeley and majored in Art for her undergraduate degree and later went to Cornell and another Ivy league school for her masters and PHD in optics.  A truly amazing woman, absolutely brilliant but overeducated and alone.  During my last day in her class, as everyone was turning in their finals, she was looking at everyone with a desperate look.  She was hoping for acknowledgement, someone to show they care, no one did.  Even the students that she often joked around with simply left.  But I cared.  When I turned in my final, I smiled and waved goodbye.  I saw her again one last time the next semester. I looked at her, but I didn't know if she recognized me since she was wearing sunglasses.  I didn't greet her, and then she was gone.

Here's to you Dr. Hu.  You are not alone, I will always remember you.