I'm always running away from my problems. I may look tough and muscular, but deep down inside I'm nothing more than a cowardly chihuahua that is more bark than bite. I talked to Julia today right after accounting. Even though I psyched myself up last night, this morning and even during my midterm, I just couldn't tell her how I feel. How I feel. How do I feel? I'm an amateur at reading body language, and she did not exhibit any signs of attraction or nervousness unlike last time, a mere two weeks ago. The only thing I noticed is the stare-off-into-space-to-the-side-because-I'm-nervous look for several seconds when she and I made eye contact when we were talking. Only some residual attraction left from her. I was too late because I hesitated, because I ran away like a little chihuahua. The only thing I get from this now is data. Data used to further modify my behavior, which will most likely regress, and data for another profile of a human being I studied. After today, Julia will merely be relegated to nothing but another number on a case file.
Update: Case file Julia now permanently closed. Emotions detached. She's now nothing more than a face in a sea of faces. One more thing to add to case file, she might have bombed the econ 120B midterm. When she asked me how was the midterm at the village market, I said it was okay. She shook her head giving a blah-blah-blah expression. Definitely ISF-something.
Note to self: Never run away from problems, face it head on.
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