After last week's further analysis of my contact with Julia, I'm deciding to get in contact one more time. Her body language that day indicated that she was shy and nervous around me. I asked her if she wanted to get something to eat, and she said that she has work, which is the truth. At the time, I thought she turned me down, but thinking back, she immediately started searching for something in her tote bag. Was she trying to give me her number? It's a huge stretch and it's pure supposition, but I can't help but wonder. I was hoping that she would talk to me today since I showed interest last week, but she immediately left class today. This leaves two possibilities, 1) She lost all interest or 2) She is afraid of being rejected again. This thursday will be considered final contact. I will try to talk to her and ask if she wants to get something to eat, if she doesn't then I'll just explain why I didn't ask her out last year. After that, relationship probability will be determined to be zero and we'll both go our separate ways.
I have never met anyone like Julia before. Julia is an extremely beautiful blonde girl and I have never seen a beautiful blonde girl so adamant in chasing after an Asian guy, like me. She is a major sociological statistical outlier, an outlier that I simply dismissed. I think she was a freshman when she and I first met, and I ended up breaking her heart. No one should experience that in their first year at college. Seeing her so upset for the last three weeks and for the last year has been slowly eating away at me because I was attracted to her the entire time. But I couldn't show any emotion, any affection, any interest all for the sake of accomplishing my objectives. Now that it's almost over, I can't stop pondering what could have been. If this is truly over, then I've learned something from this, human beings are not data points, at least not on an interpersonal scale. Always take a chance and give a chance to everyone.
Note to self: Never dismiss a chance with anyone. Talk to Julia on Thursday, explain yourself and your actions, if she lost interest.
No comments:
Post a Comment