My mind still crawl with thoughts about the future. My closest friends have always been people on the fringe of society. Gamers, intellectuals, nerds, geeks and the like, but never those drinking, partying types. I know that I can never fit in with those drinking, partying types and that is what I fear. I fear that my future will be filled with those types, I fear that all the gamers, intellectuals, and nerds will be so hidden in the future that I will not only be romantically alone, but also alone in terms of companionship.
I'm sitting here on a Friday night/Saturday morning listening to this raging party that is going on at the Village and listen as people yell and cheer, having the time of their lives. I know that I can fix myself, I know that I can become more outgoing and more social, but not to the extent that I will become one of those partygoers. If I do not become like them, will that hurt my future? Will it limit my chances of meeting and attracting women? (It's so unfortunate that most women pay most attention to the guy displaying the most "stuff" even though he's most likely a moron.) Will it limit my chances of getting that promotion because I need to network? I always help people out and show them I care through acts of kindness, but people will only remember you if you can talk. It's daunting, knowing that my entire future, career, and life is dependent upon these two years, I pray I can make it.
When I first started this blog, I imagined how this would end. I imagined that my final post would be my declaration that I would commit suicide. I don't want it to be like that, I want it to end happily, but the future looks so cloudy. Anyway, Clarissa wanted to have lunch sometime, I hope she isn't another Phoebe.
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