I saw Phoebe today in Econ 100C. She tapped on my shoulder and said hi, her facial expression was NOT happy. My intuition was correct, she did see me delete her from my address book. It doesn't matter now, what's done is done. I can finally move on with my life. One less "friend" to worry about.
I don't know if I should continue this "Reformation Program" any more. I'm purging and purging, but I'm not gaining at all. I still stumble and stutter like an idiot around women I find attractive, and people are still freaked out by me. Speaking of freaked out, I think Bryce is kind of spooked by me, he seems to be trying to avoid me. It doesn't matter, I seldom see him anyway. Interactions between Eric and I are going well, just small talk here and there. Also, interactions between Jacob and I going smoothly, we don't talk that much but when we do, there aren't any awkwardness or any other anomalies. I honestly don't know if I should continue the program. What if trying to alter myself is big mistake? What if it makes me even worst off? I don't know what I should do.
On another note, I can't stop thinking about that female cashier at Oceanview Terrace. I gave her my ID card, she swiped it, looked at it and said "thank you Jason" while she unblinkingly stared at me out the corner of her eye. It was odd, I couldn't tell if she was angry at me or something else. I went through mental records, and there wasn't anything out of the "ordinary" about my behavior. I smiled and said thank you and went on my way. Something is really odd here, I need to investigate further.
Note to self: Modify conversational output, keep conversation rolling, ending a conversation with yeah is rude.
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