Two years in and I still spook people every now and then. Several days ago, I went to BestBuy to return the Playbook and I had to psych myself up with interacting with some the folks there. The last few times I went there was not great. My performance this time was adequate. No stuttering, my responses to their questions were clear and my body language wasn't tense. Everything was going swell until the end. As I was leaving the store, the yellow shirted "loss prevention" guy said, "Have a nice day". I turned my head towards him and said, "you too". I noticed that he immediately broke eye contact and dipped his head down. The guy was at least 6' 3", he shouldn't be intimidated by my 5'8" stature.
Why are people so afraid? I don't understand. A simple glance from me has stopped people in their tracks. Even when I'm not looking at someone, merely in their general direction, they would stop and freeze up. I used to think that it was the INTJ stare/vibe that was causing it, but I managed to slowly soften it over the last two years. It seems as though I'm not the only INTJ who have noticed that people are afraid of them:
http://intjforum.com/showthread.php?t=67340
I'll modify my facial expression further to see if there is a change in results.
On another note, I'm beginning to question my own competence. I try to be the best in everything I do, but recent events had me questioning how competent I actually am. During this whole group project thing with Christine and Jocelyn, I screwed up several times and I could tell Christine was annoyed by it. Also, I just bombed my programming quiz a hour ago. Awesome stuff.
Update: Screwed up again. I fell asleep and missed the meeting time I was suppose to meet up with Christine and Jocelyn by several minutes. Fuck my life. It's official, I'm an incompetent imbecile.
Note to self: Widen eyes and lift eyebrows before turning head towards people. Don't be overconfident in your abilities.
people usually say that when looking at my face, they are scaried. They thought I am too cold, too aggressive, too arrogant.
ReplyDeleteI judge people a lot. I am very lonely now. I have tried to change myself a lot but everything still go back to what I born with