Relationships, Baby Steps, Socializing, Slowly Going Insane

Throughout the years I have gone through many potential relationships, Julie being the latest one.  The upside of these experiences is the data I collected in regards to my own action might help immensely in the future.  I've learned the following:

• Don't wait to take action to be with someone or get something, time is of the essence.
• Don't freeze up, say what you have to say.
• Don't block emotions, they are a core component of a relationship.
• Forgiveness is key to healthy relationship, platonic wise and romantic wise.  Without it, the relationship is dead.
• Communications is key, don't bottle up emotions or thoughts.
• Take the initiative, don't wait for the other person to communicate first.
• If there's something important to say, say it in person face to face.

I've been aggregating these little details and have been applying it to every potential romantic interest.  When Julia and I were still dancing around the issue, I made the move to try to ask her out.  However, I failed with Julie that night several weeks ago, I should have said something.  Despite the failure, these are small baby steps towards something greater.

Christine, my group mate, sat next to me today, surprisingly.  We talked a bit before class began and we talked about our midterms for other classes.  She said she had a biochem midterm on Thursday, it was a big one.  My response was "oh, wow".  Facepalm. Seriously?  That's the best I could come up with?  Ugh, one and half months left at UCSD and I'm still a bumbling idiot.

Also, I think I'm actually slowly going insane.  I find myself constantly repeating no to prevent my head from "exploding".  I constantly feel like something is "possessing" me, inside me.  I just can't shake it.