Friday, June 1, 2012

My Profile, Enneagram

In my last post, I wrote how I can easily observe and profile others.  When I look at them, I see a small mice inside a maze, searching for a path towards the cheese at the end.  They don't know where they're going, but I already know what they're going to do.  The ironic thing is that I'm also a mice in a maze, and I have no idea which path to take.  It's a lot easier be an external observer than the person doing the rat race.  I had hoped my time spent with Dr. Poizner would offer some insight on what I am and what path I should take.  While he was very helpful, the insight he offered were things I already discovered on my own.  It's odd to wake up everyday and look in the mirror, and not understand the person looking back at you.

As ridiculous as this sounds, I actually read through my entire blog again, trying to create a psych profile of myself from an objective point of view.  Can't really create a profile of someone if you're prone to bias.  Anyway, here it is:
  • Mild narcissism
  • Fearful/paranoid of the world and people
  • Inability to form emotional bonds with others beyond the superficial level
  • Lonely, with a desire for companionship
  • Strong complex emotions, yet unable to express it
  • Passive, takes on a secondary role within group oriented tasks
  • Indecisive when confronted with major decisions
There are probably more stuff, but without external observation, I can't get an accurate picture.

I also took enneagram test on similarminds.com and got the results below.  I took it before and I got the same type 5 but the variant was different than the one I got now.  I got a survival one rather than a social one I believe.

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