For Ben

This post is for Ben, my roommate during my first year here at UCSD, who found my blog at the beginning of summer.

Ben, I don't know if you still read my blog, but I want to say that I'm sorry for being angry at you.  My anger was misdirected.  Bobby was spewing his bs everywhere to anyone who would listen in order to protect his own sorry ass.  You, Ralph and a bunch of others believed his crap because he was more sociable and more outgoing, and looking back now, I can understand why you were annoyed by me with my constant request for help and all.

When we were still living together, you drank and got high on a daily basis.  You're depressed and you're trying to escape from reality.  I don't know if you're like that now, but if you are, you need to see a psychologist to get out of that downward spiral.  Depression will eat away at you.

You once said that your parents hate you, trust me, they don't.  I know and met people whose parents' genuinely don't like them and pretty much neglect them.  Your parents aren't like that.  Remember when you and Ian were fighting?  Your family came down to see you, they do care.

A long time ago when we went to play pool, you said that you would be proud to have me as a brother.  For what it's worth, that meant something to me.  If you read this someday, take care of yourself.