I saw Bill Ma today. I was walking, blanked out again even though I promised myself not to do so, and saw him walking towards me. He then walked to the side to avoid me. I don't blame him. The few times I saw him last quarter, I could barely recognize him and because of that, I never said hi or anything. Despite losing a potential friend, I feel... nothing. Have I spent so much time alone that I no longer feel the need for interaction with others? Is it no longer a need or rather being no longer able to do so? I spent two and a half years at community college and became more an more socially isolated over time. Even though I was with some of my friends there, I just felt lost. Something within me just simply broke. I want to make friends, but it seems like I just can't. Sigh, these remaining 10 years of my life is going to be very, very lonely.
Note to self: Be more active in maintaining friends and contact with them. Always greet others first.
Addendum: Two days ago, I was normal, so normal that I realized that I was normal. Then something happened, I felt something happened and now I'm socially awkward again. What the hell. Is my brain resetting itself?
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