I spoke with Wendy through AIM again today. She talked about what happened to her throughout the last several years and what I found was horrible. She was raped, she was put through hell by her ex-boyfriend, and went into severe depression. I should have been there for her. If I wasn't so selfish and so concerned for myself, she and I would have been closer and I could have been there for her. I always saw her like the sister that I never had, she's practically family to me. During my conversation with her, when I started talking about my life, I noticed something odd. It seems as though I tend to exaggerate and use hyperbole to boost myself up. Why is that? Is it due to insecurity? It seems as though I use the misery of others to boost myself. Not a good way to go through life.
Another aspect that I have come to realize is what I call the litmus test. It seems as though I'm always comparing myself to my peers to see where I'm at in life, and I'm seriously falling behind. It seems as though I subconsciously use others to better myself. I guess I'm too narcissistic, I need to stop it.
Note to self: Stop being a narcissist.
Facial Expression Modification: Tilt head up and then smile.
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