I've been still thinking about my appointment with Dr. Riemann and some of the points she talked about, especially the one about relating to people. I told her that I tend to see older people as pure business, and little kids as pure fun, but it was my peers that I had trouble relating to. It's not true, I can actually relate to some of my peers more easily than others. I just don't know what factor or variable that causes me to immediately open up to someone. For example, when summer ended and I came back to UCSD, I shared a shuttle with this girl who lives at ERC. For some reason, I was really talkative with her. I don't understand why though. When I was with Katherine, I was very outgoing and relaxed around her, but on guard when around Linda, even though it was the same environment and she was attracted to me too. It doesn't make sense. What triggers it, what factors are in play here? I theorize that I'm more open around people I know or familiar with. As I have told Dr. Riemann and wrote in the past, I seem to be more at ease with F.O.B girls than I am with non-Asian or even Americanized Asian girls. Could it be because I subconsciousness feel more related to them? I'm not sure.
Another aspect of the whole openness seems to involve the anonymity of the internet. The general rule seems to be internet + anonymity = douchebag, but for me it seems like I become a total extrovert when online. Why is that? Is it the human component that causes me to suppress my personality? Hopefully my next session can help me understand more.
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