Data and Intuition vs. Thinking

It's midterm week and it has been hectic.  Three midterms one day after the other and a four page paper due right after.  God, absolutely horrible.  I'm thinking about asking for medicine to deal with my social anxiety.  I'm thinking about taking it, but it's unnecessary medicine and I'm wary about potential side effects even though she stated that there is little chance of it occurring.  I'll think about it.

I've been going over data concerning my meeting with Dr. Poizner.  I asked he why I have this uncontrollable urge to get even with people who hurt me and he stated that it was my desire to get revenge because of my mistreatment when I was younger.  This was the conclusion I came to months before I met Dr. Poizner.  He's good, he definitely knows his stuff and it shows that my self-analysis is correct.

Another old piece of data has been troubling me lately.  For some reason, an old memory of me walking down the staircase to the entrance of Geisel last quarter keeps popping into my head.  In that memory, I was walking down from the top of the staircase and there was someone coming up the stairs.  I was staring off into space at the time, so my memory of that person is nothing but a blur.  A bright, white blur.  I don't know why but a part of mind keeps on saying it was Julie looking at me.  Was it? I'm not even sure.  I went back to the spot to investigate found that the top of stairway is a lot shorter in reality than it was in that memory.  I don't know what to think, that memory keeps on popping into my head and I have this compulsion to analyze it.  Gotta make it stop.

In my last posts, I wrote that I believe that the voice in my head is my introverted thinking side.  I'm wondering if it is.  I've debated this with myself on numerous occasions before and I still don't have an answer.  Great, my indecisiveness is at work again.  The reason I question it is because numerous other INTJs have stated that the best way to have a relationship is to not over think things, and my over thinking is the reason that I've destroyed my chances at a relationship.  Two voices, one is intuition, one is the thinking side.  Both voices sound just the same.  I don't know which one to listen to and even if I did, I can't differentiate them from one another.  Whatever, just take the advice from other INTJs, DON'T OVER THINK THINGS WHEN WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS.

Note to self:  DON'T OVER THINK WHEN IT COMES TO ROMANCE AND  RELATIONSHIPS.