Friday, September 9, 2011

What Could Have Been

It's two in the morning and I'm staring up at the ceiling with my laptop beside me.  There isn't much to do here really.  Every time I come back home, I pretty much spend my time playing video games and doing nothing.  The only other thing I do is reminisce the past.

My life is full of regrets.  So many chances at something great, something decent, tossed away due to fear or hesitation or stupid mistakes.  Right now, I can't stop thinking about Julie and the chance I had with her.  That day near OVT keeps popping up in my head and I keep wondering if it was her that yelled.  I haven't contacted her through facebook because honestly, what am I hoping to accomplish?  Getting back with her?  There wasn't anything there in the first place because I never gave it a chance.  Fuck it, it's over, it's gone.  I wonder what would've happened if I wasn't near her that day, the day I over heard her saying, "I don't really like Jason."  Would she and I would have been a couple?  Would she and I have dated?  It doesn't matter now, all I can do is wonder what could have been.  Again.

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