I've been getting jitters just going out there and talking to my roommates, no, not even talking, just passing by and saying hi and I couldn't even do that without screwing up. I passed by the commons area on my way out and I saw three of my roommates. One of them was Cary, and I said hi to all three, but I don't think Cary heard me. I looked at him for a couple of seconds out of the corner of my eye and walked away since I felt it was starting to get awkward. As I walked out the door and looked back, it seemed like Cary was upset. God damn it, I fucked up and it's only the first fucking week. I hate myself. Why the hell did I look at the corner of my eye? Why the hell didn't I greet him again just to make sure he heard? I'm a fucking idiot. I'm experiencing a massive regression, I'm reminding myself of things I should have remembered a year ago. I wish I was dead.
NOTE TO SELF: Never look at someone out of the corner of your eye . Always greet someone again if necessary to make sure they heard you. When greeting a group, greet them as a whole.
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