Introversion is a pain, combine that with social anxiety, and it's can be a major catastrophe. Not only does introversion limit my chances at friendship, it also limits my chances at romantic relationships. I don't even know where to begin, what I should say, what I should do, I simply freeze up. It's even worst when a male introvert lives in a western society.
In western societies, males are expected to be outgoing and be the one that pursue females. When you're an introvert, however, you're pretty much starting several steps behind other guys. I had girls in the past who initiated contact, but it seldom works out. I got the looks, I got the smarts, but I don't have the heart, the emotion and the ability to express such emotions to make it happen. What will happen to me? What lies in my future?
Anyway, I bumped into Dean Bailey several days ago. I greeted her with a wave and a smile, but she didn't seem that happy to see me. I've also been seeing Shannon a lot lately, and strangely she keeps staring at me and looks down when I stare back. Odd. For some reason, I keep turning down requests by my friend to eat dinner with him. Don't know why.
Note to self: Spend more time with friend. Don't avoid Erin.
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