Women Wary

A long, long time ago, I wrote a post about how I thought I was subconsciously misogynistic.  Even though I stated that I didn't think I was, that thought has stuck in my head ever since.  I have come to the realization that even though I'm not misogynistic, I am actually wary of women.  After being hurt for so many times, I think I have reached a point where I'm extremely cautious around women.  That might explain why I'm so cautious around Leah and any other girl I encounter.  I saw her yesterday sitting outside of class, I approached her and she said hi without a smile.  Strangely enough, even though I told myself to be happy when seeing someone, I didn't smile at her either.  Sigh, another contact lost.

Speaking of women, I'm having a hard time dealing with one of the staff at the Village.  Allison Goebbels is her name, I believe.  I don't know what's up with her, I keep getting the feeling she hate my guts.  Man, I only recall interacting with her four times throughout the entire year and every single time it's the same thing.  Though this time, I might have acted a little creepy.  She stated that the computer froze up, looked at me and laughed, I looked at her and laughed a bit too.  I realized that I maintained eye contact for about 1.5 seconds too long and that may have freaked her out.  Meh, whatever.

On another note, I've read the article that zambecki gave me (thanks again by the way), and their theory on why introverts exist is interesting.  They stated that it was due to evolutionary pressure that creates introverts and extroverts, and it makes sense.  Those who stick their head out, the extroverts, can find new resources and potentially flourish, but if they run into trouble, it will be the introverts that survive.  Unfortunately for my case, I'm not just an introvert, I'm a lone wolf and possibly anti-social.  I have always pushed away people for some reason and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to relate to people, I can't even hold a conversation with others anymore.  Sadly for me, my genes may prove to be dead end.

Huh, I just came back from the market and apparently Julia is working during the summer.  So much for my prediction.

Note to self:  Ease up on the smiling and don't be creepy.