Self Analysis Report and Dexter

I haven't done a self analysis in a while,but I believe things are getting better.  My ability to communicate with others have improved drastically and because of it, my relations with Mike and Bryan has improved as well.  I can talk to them and maintain a decent conversation with them.  My interactions with total strangers have also improved such as those with cashiers and former professors like Professor Housekeeper.  I'm actually not afraid of greeting people or talking to them anymore.  However, despite these gains, I noticed that I have become more reluctant when it comes to speaking to women.  I don't know why that is, it could be due to my negative experience with the women here at UCSD.  I am trying though, I can maintain eye contact, smile, etc. basically act normal, but there still isn't any connection on a deeper level with a female.  I'll keep trying.

I've also been watching Dexter the last week or so, catching up on the last five seasons.  I can't believe I've never paid any attention to this series before.  The show is absolutely phenomenal and the main character is someone I can actually relate to.  Out all the shows I have watched in the past and all the characters I have seen, I feel that I can relate to Dexter the most.  Aside from the whole murdering people left and right thing, he and I are almost alike.  He tries to fit into a world that he does not understand, he tries to relate to people but fails often because he can't feel what they feel, and he does his best to put up a mask of normalcy just like me.  He often talks about adapting to survive and thrive in the world him, similar to what I'm doing now, trying to change my personality to fit in mainstream society.  Needless to say, I'm hooked and I'm looking towards to season 6.

On another note, I bumped into Julia at the village market when she was the cashier.  She looked at me and smiled and said hi.  I said hi in return with a monotonic voice and it seemed like it made her upset.  She looked down in disappointment for about a second and went on with her business.  Is she still attracted to me?  It doesn't make sense.  Must investigate further.

Note to self:  Remember to smile.