I had dinner with Mazza yesterday. He drove us to this Japanese place to eat some ramen noodles. It was nice and kind of weird at the same time. Nice because Mazza is the closest thing to a friend I had in a very long time and weird because I have never actually gone out with someone before. The closest thing to hanging out with someone was when I was back in high school when I went over to Brian's place to play the gamecube with him and Henry. Man, I've been isolated so long that the concept of spending time with someone is now completely foreign to me. I'm seriously going to miss Mazza when he graduates.
Things between me and my roommates are neutral. I honestly feel like they're spooked by me. Mike and Bryan talks to me sometime but things are slowly unraveling. Bryan used to say hi or bye when I come back but he doesn't do so lately. I hope I can improve relations. It seems like I'm blaming others for my isolation, but I know that it is I who is isolating myself. I must push myself out there and meet others.
I was right, choosing a single room for the summer and the fall was a mistake. I'm on pretty shaking ground with the others and relations with Andrew is pretty much a lost cause. Doesn't matter keep moving.
On another note, I think I saw Julie yesterday, I'm not really sure though. God, I'm so lonely, I might be imagining the woman I had a crush on in the vain hope that I can see her again. God, I'm pathetic.
Note to self: Improve relations with Bryan, Mike and Andrew. When someone asks you, "how's it going?" always answer, do not assume it's merely greeting. Modify see ya to see ya later.
No comments:
Post a Comment