Progress report

I went to Cafe Ventana with Eric earlier today.  It was nice, we had a decent conversation regarding various topics ranging from family to majors etc.  However, I did notice a pattern in my conversations.  It seems that I keep repeating "what about you..."  I know that the key to a good conversations is to keep the momentum going and to keep bouncing back and forth, but it seems that the way I talk is so repetitive and boring.  I should try to mix it up a little.

My progress report seems to be a mixed one.  On one hand, I'm not afraid of talking to people and I can keep a conversation going, but on the other hand, I'm still horrible when it comes to women.  This girl at the laundry made a comment about Fringe's Olivia, and I simply smiled.  Not a good sign, it's a sign of regression.  That and when I smile, I seem angry and it scares the hell out of people.  What good is all this "progress" when it accomplishes nothing.  I still don't have close friends and I'm still absolutely horrible with women.  I'm still going through my memory files in regards to my time at CPMC.  While I was at CPMC, I was able to have fantastic conversations with Katherine Leung, Linda La, and I even tried starting conversations with Mei Zhen.  I still don't understand why I was so different during that time.  Was it the environment? The people around me or even the clothes I wore?  So many variables, so chaotic I can't even analyze it.  Sigh, marching on...

Note to self:  Sit up straight, modify speech patterns to give more variation.  SMILE.  Be more humorous.  BE CONFIDENT.  Stand up straight, sit up straight, don't slouch, and be happy.  Don't slur your speech and be verbally clear.  Increase voice volume.

SMILE AT JULIA