Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Last Quarter and Restlessness

Spring break is over and it's my last quarter here.  I found out that I won't be able to finish my chemistry minor due to the lack of time.  Disappointing.  I've also scheduled an appointment to see if I could become a research subject, apparently they're going to pay me $20 hour just to run a bunch of tests on me including MRI, DNA, blood tests etc., awesome.  Hopefully something good can come from it.

Also, I've been getting more and more restless. I have no idea what to do after I graduate, how to find a job, start a career etc.  I'm supposed to be an INTJ, a planner, a strategist, and yet I'm at my wits end on what to do next.  Every path I'm planning have so many obstacles, variables and risks that I might as well give up on it.  The economy is not getting better as I have hoped and planned when I first entered UCSD, and from the looks of things, it might even get worst.  Heck, several researchers believe that global economic collapse will occur in 2030.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/next-great-depression-mit-researchers-predict-global-economic-190352944.html
I've planned for this event my entire life, but I lack the capital needed to implement the plans I have in mind.  I need to start a career to get money to implement my plans in case everything does go to shit.  At least my parents are starting to take me seriously and bought a couple chickens to raise.

I've also been thinking about Julie.  I think I saw her two nights ago near the RIMAC.  If that was her, she dipped her head down and didn't make eye contact with me.  I should have said hi or something.  I screwed up so bad, my paranoia and insecurity got the best of me and pushed her away.  I should be with her, I wish I was with her.  I hate myself.

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