All my plans, all my "strategic" thinking, they always backfire, they always end up blowing up in my face. I now sit here alone at 2 in morning realizing that I have done nothing in the last two years. Did I make any friends? I made one. Did I find a girlfriend? I could've had many but pushed them away. I have accomplished nothing. My plan to destroy Bobby's ego worked but cost any potential friendship with others. I planned to piss off Julie but was attracted to her at the same time, I've done it, I pissed her off and now she's gone. I re-initiated contact with Ian to connect but screwed it up. I have failed. My plans, my thinking, they are nothing but inhibitors to a good life. No more, I'm tired of it, I'm tired of my schemes and plans screwing up. But I wonder whether this plan, my plan to change myself will screw up too...
Addendum: I made a post earlier about forgetting about my past and looking towards the future. Now that Ian and Julie is completely gone, that is out of sight and out of mind, I think I can forget about last year's event now. I'll miss Ian. I'm sorry Ian, goodbye.
Can I expect others to forgive me if I cannot forgive them? No, I can't.
Note to self: No more plans and schemes. Be natural, be genuine, be truthful.
interesting... i'm curious, how exactly did you destroy this Bobby characters' ego?
ReplyDeleteHonestly it's a little too long to list, but I managed to read and deduced what his personality is like and I figured that he was extremely insecure so I took advantage of that weakness.
ReplyDelete1) The girl he wanted to set up a friend's with benefit with (classy guy eh?) actually had a crush on me instead of him.
2) His little sister "complemented" me somehow and he got pissed off and started calling her a slut. (classy)
3) Every thing he did, I was able to do even better. We played Mario Kart 64 and Goldeneye during our artificial peace and I was able to beat him and my roommates 10 times in a row. My character (Toad) yelled "I'm the best!" and Bobby dipped his head and said yes you are.
4) I subtly influenced my roommate Alex by cleaning up his disgusting vomit encrusted toilet. Alex said "[INTJ] is amazing" right in front of Bobby. That was at the end of the quarter. Bobby stood there with his hands in his pockets, head dipped down and swaying back and forth. He was completely crushed.
There's more and I can go in depth, but time constrains it.